The Harem Marriage Law
by rlpj4
Summary: After the war is over, in Harry's seventh year, the Ministry passes a law requiring that all unmarried minors and volunteers who are single enter into a program to be matched with a future partner. Note: This is a parody of sorts.


**AN: This is a one-shot poking fun at the clichés of having forced marriages, harems, Harry having multiple inheritances, and Harry having many titles.**

Today was the day. The students of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had turned out for the biggest day in generations. The Ministry of Magic had passed a law that all minors had to be tested for their soul-mates, and, once tested, they were forced to marry their soul mates within six months if they were sixteen or older.

Harry was not unlike the others who were there. He was nervous, and knew that the Wizarding World had no qualms against same-sex marriages, as the person who had the youngest family in a same-sex relationship would be permanently changed to the opposite gender to make the marriage work. All of the minors had to do this, and their families had come out for this.

The Press had come out to make a spectacle of it, and many single witches and wizards who were below the age of thirty were here as well, as they could volunteer to be placed into the pool for marriages.

Harry, the conqueror of Lord Voldemort, smiled as he sat down. There were many hopeful witches who wanted to get into a relationship with him, and Harry smirked. Being the Head of the House of Potter had its advantages, as there was a clause written into his participatory contract that he could deny one or more of his possible mates, as the Ministry would select at least five mates for him. And if he denied a mate, he could foist them off on an unmatched person, or, if he felt like it, make the woman the master of a harem of males.

So that meant that his would be chosen first, and he would have the ability to refuse matches or set them up with their own harems. He had an idea of what he would do. And those who were put into harems would turn over their claim to any estate to their mistress, as required by law. Harry had grand ideas of what he could do, and he couldn't wait to see how the people viewed them.

Headmaster Dumbledore stood up to the podium to speak, and everyone quieted down.

"Welcome to the First Ever Mass Betrothal Selections," Albus said, with a strained face.

Harry had noted that those who had a say in the process all had strained looks after the results had been revealed to those who would be announcing them later.

But he turned and paid attention to what Dumbledore said, satisfied that everything would work out well for him. After all, Minister Fudge owed him big time for not going after him in the press after it had come to light what he had ordered happen.

"I know all of you are waiting for the selections, but we should say that everyone who tried to get into the program was successfully matched. There are several harems of both genders, and we will announce the harems first.

"The first person to be matched is the Conqueror of Lord Voldemort, High Lord Harry James Potter, Goblin Friend, Vampire Friend, Veela Friend, House Elf Friend, High Elf Friend, Heir of the House of Potter, Heir of the House of Black, Heir of the house of Gryffindor, Heir of the House of Hufflepuff, Heir of the House of Ravenclaw, Heir of the House of Slytherin, Heir of the House of Merlin, Heir of the House of Evans…"

And the list went on for a bit with about two dozen families that had come together in Harry, or those he had won by beating the heirs on the field of battle. Harry smirked. After all, having half the seats on the Wizengamot to himself made it easy to tweak the laws into his favor.

"And three time recipient of the Order of Merlin First Class," Dumbledore said, with a sigh.

When Dumbledore had finished naming all of Harry's titles a few minutes later, he nodded over to Percy Weasley, who handed the thick scroll to Dumbledore with the results of the testing process.

"Mr. Potter, please stand up. Ladies, when your name is called, please come forth and receive Mr. Potter's verdict on your admission to his harem."

Dumbledore then started to read off the names. "Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Millicent Bulstrode, Cho Chang, Tracey Davis, Astoria Greengrass, Daphne Greengrass,…"

Dumbledore went on reading, naming all of the surviving girls in the sixth and seventh year classes at Hogwarts, and several others, including Nymphadora Tonks, Penelope Clearwater, and others that Harry didn't know. By the time he was done, Harry had about sixty girls waiting for his word.

He looked them over and grinned. He was going to be nice and set a few up.

"Hannah Abbott?"

"Yes Lord Potter?"

"Due to circumstances that occurred before this was set up, I place in the custody of Neville Longbottom. Do you accept?"

"Yes my lord!" Hannah exclaimed, and then run up to Harry, hugging him. She then ran off to Neville, whose grin lit up the room. After all, Neville knew that this would mean that he and Hannah would no longer be eligible to be matched. He hadn't fancied being matched with another guy.

At that moment, the faces of many of the other guys looked hopeful. Ron looked especially hopeful, but Harry had other ideas. Especially after the traitor had been paid to spy on him by Dumbledore.

"Millicent Bulstrode?"

"Yes My Lord?"

"I place you in command of your own harem."

Many of the young men in the audience gulped.

"And who are her harem members?"

"Ronald Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Mr. Crabbe, Mr. Goyle, Ernie MacMillan…" Harry went on, naming about ten of those who had betrayed him or were marked Death Eaters who had gotten off lightly thanks to Dumbledore's manipulations. And he wasn't worried about problems. Millicent would be their master and they would be forced to take a slave bond with her immediately after this ceremony.

Harry grinned as Dumbledore forced a smile out. Many of those families would end up giving the seats over to Millicent, who was a friend of Harry's despite her looks. And, of course, he knew that the Wizengamot would essentially be under Harry's control.

When Harry was done, he looked over at his harem girls. He'd let Penelope go with Percy after asking her about it. Percy was quite happy with that, as he was required to marry her. Cho was sent with Michael Corner, who had proposed to her a few days before the Ministry broke off that engagement forcefully. Harry did the same thing for a few of his named women.

Harry, of course, looked down at his harem girls. Tonks, Susan, Ginny, Hermione, the Patil Twins, the Greengrass girls, Tracey Davis, Gabrielle Delacour (who had moved to England after her parents died to be with her sister), and Blaise Zabini. He smiled at them, and they smiled back, as they were going to have a happy life.

Of course, others were named, but since Harry had so many of the girls, there were a few other guys forced into Harems. Interestingly enough, Lavender Brown had her harem of Seamus Finnegan, Dean Thomas, and Oliver Wood, making the four Gryffindors quite happy. The Weasley Twins were put in an interesting harem with Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet, and Katie Bell, and all of them enjoyed it from the looks on their faces. It legalized their current relationship.

Ron was not happy, as he knew that this was Harry's revenge against him. He knew that the would have to consummate the relationship with each of his harem mates, as required by law for a harem, and many of the old pureblood families had been dealt a death blow by this law, which Harry had whole-heartedly supported after a few closed-door negotiations with the Minister and the Wizengamot. He gulped as he saw the happy face of his new mistress, who would tell him what he could and couldn't do, by law.

Molly Weasley, of course, was quite happy for her children. She overlooked the fact that her youngest son was in a harem for a woman, and she was happy that Ginny had gotten her knight in shining armor. Most of all, she was happy at getting so many sons-in-law and daughters-in-law, leaving her with a big, happy, Weasley Family.

As Molly wept happily, Harry decided that this had been a great law to support. After all, he did get a great set of girls. He had several witches (Susan, Tracey, Hermione, the Patils, the Greengrass girls), a vampire (Blaise), a Veela (Gabrielle), twins (the Patils), sisters (the Greengrass girls), a model (Daphne), and a Metamorphmagus to boot! With a smile, he motioned for his girls to stand, and then wrapped his arms around the two closest, Daphne and Tonks.

"Master," Tonks asked. "What will we do now?"

"We'll go play with my pet basilisk now," Harry said, with a smile. "And I want to closely inspect my new harem girls, as well as take them for a test drive."

Tonks and a few others who understood giggled. The others knew that this would only mean good things for them. After all, Harry was the richest man on the planet with billions of galleons, and dozens of houses and homes in his name.

A hand movement later, Tonks murmured. "Holy Merlin! He does have a basilisk!"


End file.
